There has been something on my mind lately but before I put it out there I am going to make a disclaimer.
This is not directed to anyone specifically.
It is just
an attitude behavior something that I really don't want to see be a thing.
It's also something that I expect can ruffle feathers. On the one hand I expect it to ruffle the feathers of those who don't know what God's word says about women and wives and our role in the world around us. So basically if some unbelieving feminist were to stumble across my blog then I expect she would be quite angry.
But on the other hand, to some degree, I expect that there will be believing, church-going women who may stumble across my blog who may also become annoyed at this post. We've gotten very good at baptizing the feminist movement and putting a Jesus spin on it. Womanhood inside the church often doesn't look any differently than womanhood outside of the church. And that is a tragedy. Even if we are going about the same day-to-day activities of tending our homes and raising our children it should look remarkably different below the surface. Why? Because we are doing those things with a eternal Kingdom goal in mind.
So here it is. The thought that has been popping into my thoughts frequently is this.
Wives, you were made to be his helpmeet. He was not made to be yours.
Get over the whining about how hard your life is and how much he should be helping you. Stop manipulating every situation and activity that you have in your life until it is the absolute most convenient situation or activity for you.
Don't complain about never having time as a family to do something fun like go to the beach or walk the farmer's market if you can't get a grip on going to the grocery store with your children without him.
Don't ignore the fact that he is in a conversation with people and just drop a screaming child at his feet and walk away.
Don't wait until he is home from work and basically hand off the children to do the laundry or dishes or whatever. He doesn't come home to you and dump a bunch of his work on your lap for you to do so don't do the same to him.
Our goal, our job, our joyful God-given task is to assist our husbands in their goal, job, and God-given tasks. We do all that we can to ensure his success - first as the head of our homes, and then in whatever other calling and work he has to do, be it doctor, lawyer, or grocery store clerk.
Obviously there are times when we need more grace, more help, from our men than usual. Got a newborn? Then oh, yeah we need all hands on deck to tame the laundry and put something other than pb & j or cold cereal on the table for dinner. But, sister, if your newborn is actually a three month old then get a grip on your day and stop letting your husband carry part of your load on top of his own.
Having a new baby is just an example and not the only time when your husband taking a more active role in things is to be expected. We have five children spanning college age down to fourth grade. There are some days when I am making my bed at five o'clock in the afternoon knowing he is going to walk in the door at 5:15. There are nights when I'm texting to ask if he can stop and pick up frozen pizza for dinner. Still other evenings when I'm doing a load of laundry at nine o'clock so he can have clean underwear the next day.
Life happens. I'm just saying those should be the exceptions and not the rule.
Should a wife be the only one to cook dinner? Do we only have women's work and men's work in our homes? Is it a sin for the husband to do a load of laundry or give the kids a bath? Of course not.
My point isn't to lay out a rigid list of dos and don'ts and household commandments that cannot be broken. My point is that we cannot overlook, skip, and ignore that we were made to be helpmeets.
My point is to evaluate this season of your life. Ask some hard questions of yourself. Have you gotten used to more help from your husband than is really necessary or even right for you to have? Do you need the extra help for legit reasons or because you are slacking off in some areas like good time management and planning? Are you diligently disciplining your children (not just spanking) but training them in the way that contributes to the peacefulness and productiveness of your family? Are you needing more help than usual because you've taken on some responsibilities that are putting your priorities out of order?
Again, this wasn't directed to anyone specifically. It's more that I don't want to see you shy away from or apologize for the role God has given you. And I really don't want you to not step up and meet the challenge of the life He has called you to out of fear. Don't be afraid. He has made you, fitted you, for such a task as this.