Over the weekend I had a conversation with some friends about doing things that please our husbands. I specifically mentioned keeping my hair long because I know Rob likes it that way and other preferences he has about how I dress.


For some women the idea of dressing a particular way to  make a man happy is abhorrent and dated. It seems terribly antiquated at best and rather chauvinistic at worst.

But I like dressing in a manner that I know attracts my husband to me. Why wouldn't I? It's a simple thing to please him...choosing styles and colors that I know he likes on me. He likes skirts for instance, so I don't mind wearing them often. At the moment I happen to be in a pair of shorts though. He doesn't mind nor does he expect me to wear only what he wants me to. Because he knows that I am receptive to his likes and dislikes and that information helps govern my choices. 

A few weeks ago I blogged about our husbands needing hospitable grace from us. I've been thinking about it since then and I really think we need to take that idea a step further. Our husbands need hospitable wives. And I don't mean they need to know they can bring company home or invite people over for dinner whenever they'd like.

I mean we should be hospitable to him

What does that even mean? I'm glad you asked because like I said, I've been thinking about it.

The word hospitable means "promising or suggesting generous and cordial welcome; offering a pleasant or sustaining environment." 

Obviously there are ways that we  can be welcoming and hospitable in how we govern our homes but I'm talking about something more than that...something a little deeper and more personal than that.

Would your husband describe you as welcoming? Does your interaction with your husband promise or suggest that you are receptive to him? I realize that this type of language can be interpreted to only apply to the physical intimacy between a husband and wife but I think if we cultivate an attitude of being hospitable to our husbands in other areas a level of emotional intimacy will grow.

Does he find you to be generous and welcoming to him in general? Or does he ever feel like he's just another plate of food for you to prepare or load of laundry to wash? While I think that being hospitable is more than how we greet them at the end of the day you should ask yourself how do you react when you see him after a separation of any length? Do you allow your eyes to light up? Do you smile and turn toward him?  If he arrives somewhere after you do you move to be by his side?

Does he find you to be a pleasant environment for his thoughts? Can he share what he is thinking and dreaming about and find you to be a place where those things are free to grow wild without criticism? Sometimes in our desire to be a helpmeet I wonder if we are too critical or practical; maybe feeling like we should play devil's advocate on a regular basis to help him work through various issues.

Does your husband find you to be a hospitable playmate? Seriously, when is the last time you played with him? I'm talking flat out being silly doing something ridiculous? Provoke a pillow fight...ambush him with a nerf gun, whatever. Just something that makes you laugh with each other. Have you ever heard of a game called Flipping Frogs? Our son got it one year for Christmas. It didn't take long before the frogs were being left all over the house and somehow it became a thing between Rob and me to hide the frogs for each other to find. We did this literally for years...we even hid them in suitcases when one of us was going on a trip. I won the game by actually opening a bar of soap, shoving the frog into the box and gluing it shut again so that he would find it the next time we needed a new bar of soap.

Slip a note into his briefcase or a book he's reading. Buy a snack or candy bar that you know he enjoys and put under his pillow. Send him a text telling him that you're making his favorite meal for dinner. Wear an outfit you know he likes. These are just ideas...any and none of which may sound like something your husband would enjoy. Come up with your own ways to be hospitable to him. Maybe what you'll find out is that he doesn't need you to do anything but needs you to be hospitable...welcome his opinion and thoughts. Don't underestimate the power of touch and body language. You might be surprised at how those physical and tangible ways you can be welcoming will strengthen your relationship with him. 

Are you familiar with this quote by Martin Luther?

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

I think that is a hospitable marriage.  It's the kind of marriage that produces the fruit of what he speaks of here:

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.



11 Comments

  1. Wow! I need to re-read this already. So many great ideas. I'm not sure I'm a hospitable wife- and I write that with conviction and sadness. Many days it feels like the five kids consume all of my "hospitality"- and I'm left with nothing to give my husband. I LOVE your ideas here. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you found it helpful, Alicia. We have five children so I hear ya!

      Delete
  2. I am glad you listen to your husband about your hair...I didn't...regret it to this day. I feel naked in my short haircut...sigh. Sometimes husbands do know best♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me giggle a little bit :-)Hope it grows out quickly!

      Delete
  3. This was a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I was thinking that we use the term hospitality most often when referring to guests. When guests come over, we clean the house top to bottom, pull out the best china, set the table with care, serve the best food our budget will allow, put a smile on our faces and do everything we can to make their visit pleasant. If they stay overnight, we give them clean sheets and our best towels and if possible, an inviting place to sleep. What if we were to treat our husbands the same way??? Wow - now that's a challenge for to consider! :)

    thanks for linking up for Marriage Monday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you've hit upon a very important fact...we tend to save the special "things" for guest when our first priority should be family.

      Delete
  4. Thank you so much for this post. I really enjoyed many of your practical tips. Thank you also for linking up at Tending The Home Tuesdays - so much so that I featured this post in my Weekly Wrap Up. If you would like to grab an "I was featured button" feel free to hop on over. (http://roadto31.blogspot.com/2013/05/when-modesty-reaches-beyond-hemline.html)

    I had never read your blog before but I am looking forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, thanks Lindsey! I appreciate the link up :-)

      Delete

  5. من اجل خدمات اجود ومهام افضل واسعار ارخص عليك ان تتعامل مع شركة نظافة بالرياض التي تصنف من اوائل شركات النظافة بالسعودية والمعروفة على صعيد شركات الخدمات المنزلية ككل من ركن نجد , فالشركة تقوم بتنظيف الشقق بالرياض وتنظيف المنازل و شركة غسيل كنب بالرياض , ولا تكتفى بتقديم الخدمة فقط بل تقدم ايضا احسن التخفيضات والعروض وبرامج الوقاية ومتابعه عمليات التنظيف من فترة الى اخرى بالاعتماد على اقوى عماله بشرية متخصصه في هذا المجال وبخبرة طويلة وبأسعار خياليه لن تطرأ على ذهنك من شدة انخفاضها وتناسبها مع كافة طبقات العملاء
    فاذا كنت عزيزي العميل ممن يرغبون في التعاقد مع شركة تنظيف منازل بالرياض فلا تتوانى فى اتصالك اينما كنت فى اى مدينة بالسعودية حيث تتوسع الشركة في خدماتها لتقدم خدمة التنظيف ف :
    شركة تنظيف كنب بجدة
    شركة تنظيف كنب بالدمام
    شركة تنظيف كنب بالمدينة المنورة
    افضل شركة تنظيف بالرياض

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate any thoughts you'd like to share...it makes our visits so much more enjoyable!

Looking for something?